They look like sweet town-folk,
salf-of-the-earth, flannel and jeans.
People that watch the sun come up.
My God their pies are good.
who pray your mamby-pamby principles
die with you, slaughtered in the street,
your thoughtful guts lapped up
by well-trained Republican dogs
(Damn. I forgot the warning.
“How did this happen?” as the
flagpole stakes your throat,
as unprecedented wheezes
through gurgled blood
and your solidarity-warm pink hat
floats down Constitution Avenue,
used and dark and alone.
You didn’t see them multiply.
You wouldn’t see them grow —
in Kansas and Missoura,
Texas and ‘Bama, Ken-Tuck-y,
right beneath your woke-ness
and your museum arrogance and your
holier-than-thou Lululemon mindfulness.
Yeah, see? You’re kinda
They knew they were safe.
They knew you wouldn’t think it,
then wouldn’t believe it —
“Love is Love,” right? —
“We’re all in this together,” right? —
as Proud Sons and their Daughters
trained for war right under your
groomed generals in broad daylight,
bought Armani camo, nice blue suits
(they already had the bullets
and the guns left over from
squirrel practice) —
red necks covered by executive collars,
red ties to hide the splatter.
They left their hayseeds at home this time.
You were ready for zombies, sunken-eyed
okies whose farms were ripped away by BigBanks,
grandpas with four teeth chattering
all the way to the West Coast
(or something like that).
Oh, they had your number!
Talk about stealth!
Their fabric was fine, the
Stanford and Yale and Harvard degrees
genuine — plus “Wow! He lifts weights, he’s so sexy!”
(See my companion lecture on MetroSexual Roles
in the Conservative Cause.)
“Consensus?” you pleaded.
“Let’s talk,” you bleated
because — let’s face it — you’re afraid to fight
with anything other than words;
and refusing to believe evil exists
and is usually HOT and BEAUTIFUL,
you left the Gate to the Sanctuary unguarded,
let WhiteNation and WomansPlace
ravage the Holy of Holies,
Maybe if they had worn
I know what you’re thinking
because that’s what you do —
I hear your “protest”:
“Wouldn’t we be just like them
if we used our fists instead of words?”
“If we don’t move beyond labels?”
“Help them heal?”
That’s why they’ll win,
StupidBuford and LazyEyeLorraine,
because they listened to a real Grandma
“Don’t leave your head so open your brains fall out.”
You thought she was old —
she only had one dress —
you never saw her on Facebook —
after Tucker and Rush and Hannity Ltd.
after Laura and Huckabee and Kayleigh visited;
giving guns to teenage saps
doning MAGA hunting caps
(so they’d know who not to cap);
after speeching D+ mobs,
after fisting fascist slobs —
(did you get the little Eliot homage?) —
cops bleeding out on marble
the hunt was on!
Smoke-out the out-raged enemy
like rabbits or Funny Cousin Earl, who
voted for Carter and was then dead
on his river-raft, thinking he was family;
target those limp-wristed Dem-o-crats
whose Cities call to Our Young
as Jezebel tempted Jesus
(it’s in the Bible);
forget, TexasTed, that
HE CALLED YOUR WIFE UGLY —
AND YOU LET HIM;
we’ve got to corner all codlers, socialists and fags,
show them MTG would win a pig-fight,
make that Puerto Rican loudmouth BITCH
run the Gov’ment Maze to her death,
execute California, hang the un-Hung
am I being dramatic?
Because what they want,
what LittleHornedMan masked
with this “false-flag not-coup” — right? —
is to come:
your ideas, shred like your well-intentioned intestines,
disemboweled from well-toned tummies,
blood sausage for rabid-stupid hungry children —
your ideas, your precious and diverse ideas
that helped BobJoe survive his nail-to-the-head
accident and paid for his black-hating diabetic
momma’s nursing home,
high-falutin' ideas like Medicare and Social Security and
vaccines (CONSPIRACY! CONSPIRACY! ) —
dead with you.
Liberals, people who can think
and probably don’t want to die
(martyrdom being highly overrated),
listen to Grandma, please:
“If it walks like a duck and quacks,
There are no town-folk.
There are no Christians.
There are no rights.
There are armies.
This is America.
And their soldiers will sip sherry
right before carving out
(Yes, this will be on the test.)